Thirteen Practical Ideas to Boost Your Mood & Improve Your Relationships
Thirteen Practical Ideas to Boost Your Mood & Improve Your Relationships (things I’m doing in my own life)
It's been a difficult handful of years. It's included a lot of loss, pain, grief, unexpected life transitions/disappointments, and working through a lot of hard and low feeling moments. So the last year I've really been working on making changes to deal with all of this. I've given myself space to process, grieve, and dig deep, but I've also worked on every day practical living habits to boost my mood and get back to living the type of life I want. A life where I feel love and joy; where I experience healthy and connected relationships with those closest to me - and an improved ability to manage my moods, thoughts, and coping mechanisms. Just because we are therapists, doesn't mean we engage in healthy relationships and coping mechanisms on the regular. We can know what to do, but actually doing it takes work and it's not always easy. We all have our times of struggle, hurt, loss, grief, and difficulty coping. Life really can be hard, but also incredibly good and beautiful.
So here are a few things I've done to help create the life I want. Perhaps you will also find use in a few of them!
Learning something new: This year I pushed myself to learn to snowboard (after six years of living in a cold climate I finally did it!) and it was so much fun. I'm definitely a baby beginner at it, but it was such a great way to get my thoughts to think about less anxiety provoking topics, get outside to enjoy fresh air, laugh, build a new skill, and spend time with family/friends in a beautiful environment. All things that fed my soul, boosted my mood, and decreased anxiety/stress. Learning something new is a great way to stop anxious and negative thoughts. Give it a try :)
Making time for working out and movement. This is always my go-to mood booster and way to release stress. Working out or doing something active is incredibly good at bringing my thoughts to the exact moment I'm in. Meaning, it's a fantastic mindfulness and grounding activity for me. You can't worry about the future or ruminate on the past if you are thinking about the exact moment you are in (so long as it's a safe moment, free of crisis).
Connecting with my partner. Part of the hard the past handful of years was experiencing stress and hardship in our marriage. We've been asking for help, hiring childcare, and finding small everyday moments to communicate, show up for one another, and date again. All marriages/relationships have their hard seasons, but with resiliency, hard work, and communication (from both partners), I really do believe in restoration of whatever you might have lost during a hard season. No good or healthy marriage exists without hard work. I think we can believe this myth without knowing it.
Journaling, mindfulness, prayer/spiritual life. I must confess I don't journal on a regular/daily basis, but I do try to do it in some form on a weekly basis. This might even include jotting down rambles or random thoughts in the note section of my phone. I think journaling can be an incredible release and way for you to reflect on what you need or how much you grow. I've also leaned into my faith/spiritual life and mindfulness practices. That includes prayer and leaning into my faith. I also try to stretch and focus on my breathing. All of these things help to calm my nervous system and let go of things I frequently hold onto. Just a reminder that you might need to repeatedly try to release something before you totally release it and it no longer sits deeply inside you.
Intentional time without my phone/electronics. Oh man, isn't this a hard one? I don't even think I need to elaborate on this one, but I do want to say that I have to physically place my phone in another room or out of sight so that I do not grab it. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that, but I don't think I'm unusual. Our phones and everything on it, really are quite the distraction from the very moment we are in, increase our stress and anxiety, increase our tendency to compare, and have so many negative side effects. I'm not anti-phone, but I am pro-healthy phone use. It's just figuring out what that is to you and sticking to it. That's the hard part! At least for me!
Connecting with my friends. Friends are such a source of strength, love, and happiness. They can help us feel safe, heard, validated, and decrease our sense of loneliness. All of this can decrease our depression and anxiety. We live in a society of disconnection, often due to being "so busy" all the time, just trying to keep up, and the use social media as a false connection. Phones and social media can definitely assist with bridging the gap to keep up with family/friends/interests, but it should never be a replacement.
Going on solo walks and listening to podcasts. One of my favorite things is going on a walk and listen to a favorite podcast that helps me get out of my head and think about something positive, challenging, new, or different. It also helps me feel grounded, relaxed, and gives me time to check in with myself. Plus, it's a gentle movement that allows you to get outside, fresh air, sunshine, and steps - all things that naturally boost your mood. I highly recommend it to all of my clients.
Making time for things I like to do. Why do we skip out on making time to do things we enjoy!? I'm a proponent of good work ethic, but it's also incredibly valuable to create a life full of people and things you love and enjoy outside of work. But we do have to be intentional and make it happen. It won't just fall into place as an adult, because yes - life is too busy.
Reading more. This definitely helps with getting off electronics and I've been trying to make it a replacement for that. Reading more is also a positive healthy distraction that does a much better job of calming the mind/body for relaxation time than phone use. And obviously a great way to take in new knowledge, and creates less time for the brain to think about anxious/negative things.
Reaching out to mentors, therapists, friends, support. Asking for help. Admitting my struggles and difficulties. Being vulnerable.
There are just some things we need support with. Some seasons and hardships require having an outside voice to calm our thoughts, urges, and tendencies, and help give us strength as we work through things. Some situations really do require someone carrying hope for us, so that we can get to a place of more strength to carry it for ourselves. We shouldn't have to do life alone. Let people in. When you do, you can truly feel seen and loved for you.
Gratitude and finding joy in the little things. You can have gratitude and admit you are say life is hard. In fact, being healthy is doing both at the same time. When you only practice gratitude and minimize/invalidate the hard stuff, we can easily practice "toxic positivity." This might sound like "yea, but you have so much to be thankful for." So please, don't minimize the hard stuff, but do recognize the good stuff too. It's incredibly helpful to train our brain to identify the things you are grateful for to recognize positive things that happen to you, not just focus on the negative. It's important to do this with the littlest things to huge things. It helps us to see that in the midst of the hard, we also have good.
Spending intentional time with my daughter. This includes me focusing on quality of time instead of quantity and challenging mom guilt like crazy. I've been trying to notice and release all the pressures/expectations I hold myself to as a mom/individual that don’t serve me. And there's more than I realized and would like to admit.
There you go! I hope these ideas help serve you in the midst of hard things.
What are habits, tools, or ways you decrease your depression and anxiety? How do you boost your mood? Please share! We can always benefit from more positive ideas.
If you try any of these, please let me know how it goes! Message me, DM or tag me on IG: @securely.her